GE, the conglomerate, no longer exists. They sold off most of the divisions and spun off the three remaining into their own business. GE Aerospace is the “corporate successor” but as of 2024, the old General Electric is no more.

Insurance Companies: “Climate related disasters are acts of God.”

Also Insurance Companies: “Welp, time for us to GTFO of places where ‘acts of God’ seem to be occuring with increasing frequency.”

Seize all the Halloween candy in the entire neighborhood with the rationale that some of them may contain weapons of mass destruction.

Why use many frame when few frame do trick?

“Blessed are the peace cheese makers, for they will be called the children of God.” --The Holy Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ According to Monty Python

Apparently not if you’re actually trying to sink it yourself. Thats a one way ticket to getting your sub captured and placed in a large museum where people can witness your failure for generations to come.

Just ask the Germans.

Monster: “I’m just going to go chill in this dark basement for a bit. Nobody is going to come bother me in here.”

Hangs a little to the right. Huh.

North Koreans right now

Edit: just noticed the duplicate word. I’m leaving it. Not like the guys on the front line are going to be able to read it anyways.

She does it to me! Let’s one rip and with a mischievous little grin says, “I toot.”

I love my kids. They are a ton of work but I couldn’t imagine life without them. But being a parent is not for everyone and that’s ok.

This meme was inspired by my wife telling me about our two year old having a full on five-alarm melt down at Sam’s Club and screaming, “I see Christmas trees! I go see Christmas trees!” While my wife tried to assure her that they would go see Christmas trees on the way out. All you can do is laugh at the sudden realization that the poor person with the screaming child in the middle of the store is you.

You sure? I could have sworn it was in that one passage in Hezekiah.

If my grandma wanted a cheeseburger, she would have kept it to herself and eaten a piece of smoked chicken that was hanging in the attic (where they stored the smoked chickens) instead because that’s what they could afford.

In hindsight, I can kind of understand why my grandparents saved every damn thing that they ever bought. When you grow up dirt poor you find all kinds of new uses for what most people consider trash.

I’ve had plenty of hard times in my life but “so poor I gotta save every egg carton like it’s made of gold” is not an experience I’m personally familiar with. I’m thankful for that.

This comment is too real. I like mornings but not at 4:00 AM. Meanwhile, my toddler: “If I don’t sleep, no one sleeps.”

Good tip. Wrong community.

The last few hundred years of Russian history can be succinctly summarized as, “…and then, it got worse.”

Meanwhile my cat:

“Hey. Heeyyyy. Heeeeeeyyyy! Hey slave, where’s my food? Where’s my food slave? Do you not know wtf time it is?? We do this every day. Are you fucking dense? Stupid slave. ‘WeLl YoUrE tHiRtY FiVe MiNuTeS EaRlY’. DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT!? You should just know! I’m gonna be here eventually. You know this. So why is my food not ready and waiting for me the moment I arrive? Slaavvvveee. Are you listening to me?? Where is my food you useless twat!?”